Why I Avoid Politics Now

Whether I like it or not, I have become a leader of sorts. I think it's due to my age. Young people look up to me. I am flattered by their curiosity, even if it is misplaced. I am sometimes asked for guidance.

What I tell young people, is to treat every person you meet with respect. Especially people who are different than you: people with disabilities or strong political views. Rich or poor, people of the opposite sex, a different race, or sexual orientation. Give them the opportunity to lower their shields. Listen to them carefully. Don't concede your own point of view easily, but take note of what they are saying. If it is challenging to listen to, good. Be challenged, and reflect on why.

I have friends and acquaintances who hold various political beliefs. Some beliefs I disagree with have come to light. In those circumstances, I win their confidence by staying with them, and slowly begin with my subtle cross-examination. I would gain nothing by lambasting them and terminating the friendship based on my ideals. That would be a missed opportunity. People can be moved. I demonstrate gently, how to move through life through my own experience and the humbling lessons it has taught me.

Some people try to get a rise out of me by bringing up the latest atrocity, usually followed by something like, "Doesn't that make you feel anything?!" I am not a rock, I feel deeply. But I don't feel the need to prove it to people like this. This type of person already has a narrative running through their brain of who I am and what I am about. I don't respect that. I will try to change the subject and if that doesn't work, I take my leave.

I am not conflict-avoidant. Anyone who's known me for a while knows that much about me. My philosophy of life is to bring people together on common-ground to talk productively.

I dissent, but I am not a keyboard warrior. I don't virtue signal. And I don't signal-boost. I don't plaster your social-media with a twenty segment story. Just because I don't talk about it openly doesn't mean I'm completely unaware. It doesn't mean I don't have an opinion on it, or feelings about it.

Politics can become an obsession.

I think some people have replaced other screen-addictions, like porn or gaming with politics, typically after a major life-event, like becoming a parent for example. At the very least it's a distraction from my daily duties as a partner and step-parent, and I have enough of those already.

What disgusts me the most about politics is how tribal it is.

I dislike large groups of people polarized on weaponized rhetoric and what they do to each other because of it. They reduce each other to caricatures and then demons, and finally pariahs. I take it personally when I see other people doing that because I have spent time in my life as a pariah. It wasn't fun. Society has approved any kind of mistreatment you can think of for a pariah.

I am still collecting information.

I am not an expert on geopolitics and I don't claim to be. Never have. I defer that duty to other people much more qualified than myself. My grandfather Horace Franklin Byrne worked for the State Department in Iran during the rise of the Shah. The Iranian coup d'état. He served on the War Production Board with the United Nations Relief and Rehabilitation Administration, the forerunner to United Nations International Children's Emergency Fund. He could have done anything, but he wanted to help people on a massive scale. It was something he believed in.

My father, Charles Byrne was born in Tabriz in Iran in 1953. He was raised in Port Elizabeth, South Africa during apartheid and he speaks six languages with varying degrees of fluency: English, French, Farsi, Afrikaans, Xhosa and Arabic. He knows a few things about politics.

His brother, my uncle Malcolm Byrne was the Deputy Director of Research at the National Security Archive in Washington D.C., a non-profit devoted to checking rising government secrecy, and wrote many highly-regarded books on the subject. I'm not bragging, I'm just saying I'm not an expert like the rest of my family seems to be.

Unlike them, I have no interest in becoming an expert in politics. I know what it takes. My interests lay in other areas.

Going to a protest at this point in my life would be a disservice to my family. Even if I wasn't lighting fires, throwing rocks, breaking windows, spray-painting slogans or tipping over police cruisers.

As an outsider, as always. Not to protest but to bring supplies to the protesters. I knew they were camped out and I knew it was a long-haul for them. They would need somewhere to rest and something to drink. I had a truck, which I loaded with mattresses and water bottles, and drove down to Frank Ogawa Plaza after work on the night of October 24th, 2011. Hours before the wicked OPD incursion. I had no idea that was coming for them. Well, I had some idea. I knew the authorities were upset. Against my better judgement, I parked and walked around a bit.

I noticed a dozen extended vans parked on one of the side-streets. In each van a dozen officers were putting on riot gear. At the end of the block, all by itself was a black SUV. I walked through all those vans to the end of the block and I tapped on the blacked out window of that particular SUV. It rolled down and there were two men inside, officers, I asked the driver, "Are you the commander?" He said he was. I said, "You know, there are women and children in that protest."

He said, "Yeah it's such a shame that these people use their own children as human shields. I can't talk anymore, you should go."

The window rolled up. I had more questions, a lot more. They were beyond the point of talking. Answering questions is not their strong-suit. It was all about force at that juncture.

The police are much more adept at using force than the general population. I knew what was about to happen, and it wasn't going to be good for anyone, especially not the protesters. So I got out of there.

Now, you can say that was cowardly of me, but I'd rather have names thrown at me than flash-bangs, rubber bullets and batons. At the end of the day I think you would too.

I am still alive.

I'm not maimed or crippled. I am not incarcerated. I am free to type my thoughts on this keyboard and distribute them far and wide. I am free to be of service to my family and friends, which is the real clincher for me. I don't want to be in a position to "do damage."

I want to be in a position to watch a young woman that I helped raise fly the nest and expand her life, go to cosmetology school and move into her own apartment. That's the real gift of life to me. Service to my family.

The system is broken. It is in smoldering pieces on the scorched earth.

I know that. From that blasted detritus a new system is being formed before our very eyes. A system where right is wrong, left is right, war is peace, up is down. It's like a science-fiction novel, but it's quickly becoming reality. What is happening around the world right now and at home in our own country is wrong in so many ways. But, I'm not going to give myself an ulcer and wring my hands about it.

You could say I am out-of-step.

You could say that, and you might be right. I acknowledge that. I don't like being in-step with anyone unless it's a line-dance at The Mel-o-dee Lounge (a karaoke bar), and I don't dance often.

As I write this, the No Kings Protest is happening around the country. I believe that writing this article is more effective than placing my body in a sea of people. Did I mention I dislike and deeply distrust crowds? I am not a joiner, and I don't like being herded around like a flight animal. I am an outsider. Hey, that's the name of my newsletter! The Outsider. Please subscribe for weekly updates.

I have my own message, and I want to share it with you.

I am doubling-down on my family and friends because that is the most important thing to me, and where I feel I can do the most positive, far-reaching effect on my community and the world at-large. My sphere of influence is small, but I am going to choose with intention and precision how I influence my community.

There is a place for politics, ostensibly a blend of conflict and cooperation. But recently, we have elected leaders who seem to adhere to the Carl Schmitt friend-or-foe-style politics, which I think leads inevitably to violence and war. It has permeated through our society right down to the individual.

If you think you have a seat at the table with our current leadership, I'm sorry but you're deluded. Remember, this is friend-or-foe politics. And you don't really know how you're going to react when your door is being kicked down by the gestapo. You can preen and posture and say it's not going to happen to you, or you're going to be real tough when it does, but the truth is until it happens, you don't know.

You don't know how you're going to handle being mugged, getting into a bar-fight, a road rage incident or getting scabies, until those things happen to you too.

Personally, I don't go out looking for these things, just like I don't look for political discussion these days. It seems pointless to me right now.

I am a grizzled veteran of the wars that have raged within my own life. The experience that I have was hard-won. Not to be a downer, but you did click on an article vaguely about politics. I have major battles still left to fight, like terminal illness. It's coming for all of us some day.

Does that mean I should become a hypochondriac and bleet like a stuck-lamb about metastasis and carcinogens all-day-long on every media channel available to me? I don't think so.

A well-researched and thoughtful essay though? I might read it.

Time will test each of us.

We all find out what we're made of eventually. I think there were millions of citizens in Germany before the invasion of Poland who were just like me. Quietly trying to live their lives and care for their families. Were they to blame for the Holocaust? Am I excusing myself as each of those people must have? I have seriously considered that. The fact is like many of those people, I have a lot to lose right now.

Like many people today in our own country, I can't afford to throw myself and loved ones by proxy recklessly into the deep-end of activism. I understand people who are called to do so, and I respect it. I have not been called yet, and I don't know what it's going to take. I don't want to think about that.

And yet.

There is a heartbreaking book called, "I Shall Not Hate," by Izzeldin Abuelaish, a Palestinian man who grew up in the Jabalia refugee camp. He overcame incredible odds and became a doctor. He was concerned with female health and well-being in particular. He became a gynecologist. Because of demand for his skills, he worked in both Israel and Gaza.

It was published in 2012, and documents the arbitrary shelling of his family's house by an Israeli tank. The explosion killed three of his daughters instantly. He came home to find their remains scattered through the house. He collapsed to his knees and wept. And yet, his take-away was that if his daughters should be the last to die on the road to peace between Palestine and Israel, he would forgive it completely.

Of course, it is now thirteen years later and we now know that was not the end. It was only the beginning of a series of brutal atrocities in Gaza perpetrated by the Israeli state. However, if ever there was a moment for radicalization and violent retribution, the death of his daughters by an Israeli explosive projectile would be exactly that.

But, Dr. Abuelaish refused to succumb to the temptation of violence and martyrdom. His commitment to peace and his gentle spirit is something to behold and aspire to.

Here is a man pushed violently, to the very limits of sanity and human suffering. Suicide was a daily consideration for him. Speaking as a step-parent and older brother of two sisters, I don't know how one could suffer more.

Dr. Abuelaish found a way to turn himself around in the deepest darkness of the human soul. He not only did that, but strengthened his resolve against violence and went on-tour around the world to spread his message of peace and hope in the face of his personal tragedy.

In my mind he is the toughest guy around.

I believe in peace at all costs.

Considering what Dr. Abuelaish has been through, I figure if that guy leaves room for peace, I can too. I am what some people might call a peacenik. I believe in peace at all costs. I used to be a gun-owner. I got rid of my firearms some years ago, for many reasons. I believe there is always another way. Retribution and mutual annihilation are anathema to me. Violence and war are not the way.

Most of all there is always hope.

We are all capable of change and redemption. Humans are pretty incredible in their adaptability and resilience. I am an example of all these things and I am a reformed pessimist. I am an optimist now. I believe that our better nature will eventually triumph across the world.

I believe that triumph begins at the household-level. Each of us must become the best version of ourselves. We must live our lives with all the love and integrity we can muster. Not perfection, but daily improvement. We must be of service to our families and friends. I am just figuring this out, so pardon me.

Starting with peace and hope as a foundation for each person, I believe that love, kindness, and integrity at the individual level will win the day, eventually.

I have been living this truth for just three years, and the gifts I have received in-turn have changed my life. Are changing my life. Doors once closed, are swinging open for me now. I am back in-touch with my parents, and our relationship is better than ever before. No longer estranged, I am involved with, and lauded by my community and friends. My family looks upon me with love and pride. I have renewed purpose and a vision for the future.

A veritable fountain of gratitude and humility is what I feel most days. Words don't do justice to what I feel. It can be overwhelming at times. I am able to look upon everyone these days with eyes of love, and it takes no time or money to be kind.

Oh gosh, I just said religion, well, that's a topic for another article. Another topic I avoid. So long for now. Be good to each other, and try to live your life in the light rather than the darkness.